Maybe, Maybe
by LullabyDust
Summary: Kurogane knows he's missing something, something important. He knows someone used to care about all this. He just can't remember who or what. KuroFai. WARNING: Character death.


_~ Summary: Kurogane knows he's missing something, something important. He knows someone used to care about all this. He just can't remember who or what. WARNING: Character death._

_Suggested listening: Maybe, Maybe by Nico Stai. If you read at exactly the same pace I do it works out perfect. If you read at the same pace as my friend Raa-chan, you'll finish with two minutes to spare. If you read at the same pace as my friend Jetty, the song will be over before you're halfway through. Here's hoping you all read at my pace… ~_

Kurogane stared at the ceiling fan twisting slowly above the couch. It was agonizingly slow and offered no cooling breeze whatsoever, but he didn't care. Magazines, rolled-up newspapers, and empty pizza boxes littered the floor around him, but he didn't care about those, either. Didn't care about much of anything, really.

Maybe, at some point, someone had cared about all this. The rooms used to be kept immaculately clean, and pizza for dinner was out of the question unless he was sick. The electricity used to work, too, which was why he was currently sitting in the almost-dark. He squinted at the ceiling fan. Wasn't it just- never mind. He didn't care.

~X~X~

Kurogane sat on the lip of the ambulance, clutching at a cup of hot chocolate and staring at the pavement blankly. He was completely oblivious to the screaming and footsteps pounding around him, eyes completely blank but for a slightly haunted gleam.

A female paramedic who Kurogane later learned was named _Tomoyo_ came up and put her hand on his shoulder.

"We need to get you to the hospital," she said kindly. Kurogane slowly raised his eyes to meet hers.

"He's gone," he said softly. He still wasn't sure what those words meant. Just something the EMTs had kept saying while they dragged him away. Just something. Didn't mean anything. Right? Tomoyo looked at him with pity in her eyes, but Kurogane didn't know why.

"I'm sorry. But we need to save you now."

~X~X~

He was at the ocean, feeling the water periodically lap at his feet, unsure how he got there. When he thought about it, he vaguely remembered asking a girl with long black hair to take him here. Maybe it was Tomoyo. He stretched his arms out wide, feeling the salt air on his face but not really enjoying it. He used to love this place. He came here all the time. It was surrounded on three sides by huge, scraggy cliffs and only accessible by a small path carved into the stone.

He used to bring someone else here often. He furrowed his brow, but the face, like every other memory before six months ago, remained a stubborn blur. Blonde hair and blue eyes were all he could make out; everything else remained indiscernible.

He sat down and gathered bunches of sand, letting it slip through his fingers in wet clumps.

Sandcastles. He had made sandcastles here, once. He hadn't wanted to but someone bugged him enough that he did it anyway, and he had been annoyed when the waves washed it away.

~X~X~

"No! He's still in there! You have to save him!" Kurogane yelled, fighting against the EMTs trying to drag him away from the apartment complex. He couldn't remember who 'he' was, but he knew he was still trapped inside. Someone important.

"He's gone," an EMT with brown hair and eyes kept saying. "He's gone! Listen to me, he's gone!"

"Syaoran, stop it!" snapped a girl with green eyes, but Syaoran kept yelling and Kurogane kept fighting.

"He's gone, do you hear me? You can't save him! He's gone!"

"No, maybe I-"

"_He's gone!"_

~X~X~

Kurogane stood up and stripped off his shirt, dumping his cell phone a safe distance away from the waves in the sand. A swim might bring back more memories. He closed his eyes and dove in.

~X~X~

"Kuro-chu, what do you want for breakfast? We've got eggs, bacon, waffles, toast-"

Kurogane frowned at the blonde pink blur in front of him. He closed and reopened his eyes and a moment later everything slid into focus. He sighed at Fai's attire- a pink apron with large green flowers.

"Eggs and OJ," he said. "And stop calling me that."

"Okay, Kuro-daddy!" Fai chirped, flouncing away. Kurogane growled.

"For the last time, we're not getting any kids, dammit!" he snapped, following Fai into the kitchen. Fai giggled.

"I know," he said as he cracked open the first egg. "I just think it's a cute nickname, don't you?"

Fai looked at him hopefully and Kurogane knew it wasn't because he wanted approval for a new nickname. He held out his arms and Fai all but pounced on him in a hug. He pressed his lips to the blonde's cheek.

"We'll talk about it when I get back from work," he murmured, and Fai beamed.

The ground tremored slightly and Fai's smile morphed into a frown. "Kuro-cakes, what's going on?"

Kurogane's eyes widened as the ground rumbled and let loose a deep growl, the plates shaking on the counter. "Earthquake! Go, get down!"

And then the sky fell down on their heads.

~X~X~

Kurogane snapped his eyes open. He was floating on his back in the ocean, far enough out that the cliffs were no bigger than his hand.

"Fai," he whispered.

_He's gone._

Kurogane closed his eyes again and let himself sink into the inky oblivion of the water.

_~ 100 Themes Challenge #91: drowning._

_Reviews are love. ~_


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